


Betrayal

by laurenkmyers



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Betrayal, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 06:54:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26847739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurenkmyers/pseuds/laurenkmyers
Summary: Ben and Lola go to Lexi's dance grading and Callum (after deciding to go to work) shows up late missing half of Lexi's solo. Cue the angst (but with a happy ending) when Callum finally has his breakdown and spills all to Ben.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 3
Kudos: 71





	Betrayal

**Author's Note:**

> A sort of coda from tonight’s episode (05/10/2020) and what I would like to see happen in tomorrow’s episode. It’s time for the truth to come out.

Lexi takes to the stage, looking out into the crowd and spots her dad immediately, a wide grin on her face, and then looks to Ben’s left and sees the seat next to him is empty. Ben watches her little head lower in sadness, but she brushes it off and gets back into position. Ever the professional. It breaks his heart to see her disappointment.

Ben frantically searches the back of the hall one last time in the hopes that Callum will make a miraculous last minute appearance, and then the music starts. His gaze shifts back to his baby girl, and the second she starts moving her tiny feet his disappointment in Callum fades momentarily.

Lexi does a dramatic twirl in her dress and taps her feet to the beat of the song and Ben is overwhelmed with pride as he beams with joy at his little princess. The song ends and Ben is the first one to his feet, clapping enthusiastically and whistles as loud as he can so Lexi knows her dad is watching. She flashes her gappy smile back at him, and then something, or rather someone catches her eye beyond him- she glows even brighter in their direction. Ben turns his head to see Callum ducking down the aisle towards him, a sheepish look on his face. He turns away from Callum has he finally reaches his seat to watch Lexi still bowing at the cheering crowd before skipping offstage as the next kid is announced.

“You’re late.” Ben says in a stern tone after remembering the sad look on his babies face when she initially thought Callum had missed her dance.

“I know, Ben- I’m sorry I got-” Callum tries to explain before getting abruptly cut off mid-sentence.

“Caught up at work…yeah.” Ben nods, defiantly.

“Don’t be like that. I made it in time, didn’t I?” Callum whispers back, trying to play it off, but Ben is having none of it.

“Barely, you didn’t see the look on her face when she saw you weren’t sat ‘ere next to me.” Ben snipes back a little too loudly and a deliberate shush is uttered from behind them. “We’ll talk about this later, yeah?” he says, abruptly ending the conversation and ignoring Callum for the rest of the evening.

The dance goes on for another 10 minutes as kids come and go onstage. Ben barely notices them, until the finale dance and Lexi is back onstage smiling away in the front row of the group number. Ben turns to look over at Callum and he has tears in his eyes as he watches Lexi dance, and it melts the ice around his heart slightly before he turns back to watch the final moves.

After the show Ben goes back to ignoring Callum as they both wait with Lola for Lexi to come out of the dressing room. Lola, obviously sensing the tension between them, thankfully stays quiet too. The door opens and Lexi’s little form pops out, she spots the three of them right away and runs towards them and jumps straight into Ben’s open arms. He picks her up and spins her around. “You were so good, baby. My little princess is the most talented one of all. I’m so proud of you.” He’s so overwhelmed with love for her he finds himself holding back tears as he drops her back to the ground and she looks up at him from under her full lashes, full grin on display before turning her attentions to Callum.

“And what did you think, Callum?” She asks, in her most confident voice.

“You were amazing, Lex. A right little star in the making.” He chuckles.

“I’m already a star, Cal.” She huffs back, hands on her hips.

“Course you are, baby.” Ben pats her affectionately on the head and pushes her over to Lola who lavishes her with just as much love and praise. Ben gets lost in the moment as he watches the exchange.

“Right, missy- you’ve had a long day so I think it’s time we got you home and into bed and tomorrow I’ll treat you to one of your nan’s iced buns for breakfast to say well done, how does that sound?”

Ben’s moment is interrupted by the words, and by Lexi’s jump for joy at the thought of sugar for breakfast. “Go say bye to Daddy and Callum.” He hears before Lexi bumps into him and wraps her arms around his legs and holds on tight. “Bye daddy, love you.” She blows him a kiss and then does the same to Callum. “Bye Cal.” Ben blows her a kiss back and he and Callum wave their hands in her direction as she and Lola disappear around the corner.

***

Back at the house the atmosphere between Ben and Callum stiffens further, they haven’t spoken a word to one another since they left the school and things only get worse when Ben witnesses Phil mutter something to Callum that he doesn’t quite catch before Phil makes his exit out the back door.

Ben pushes past Callum without even looking at him and places Lexi’s bag down on the dining table. He starts making his way back towards Callum only to walk past him when he’s stopped by a hand on his arm.

“Ben- wait.” Callum says with a tremble in his voice as he pulls at Ben’s arm to get him to turn around. “I really am sorry.”

Ben huffs out a laugh, fired up and ready to have this out, “Sorry for what Callum? For saying you’ll be there? That you wouldn’t miss her dance, only to show up half way through and miss most of her solo anyway?” Ben spits at him, the anger he’d tried to force down earlier bubbles to the surface as the picture of Lexi’s disappointed face once again pops into his head. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Callum. Not when the consequences hurt my daughter.” He pants out a breath, swipes his hand across his forehead, and forces himself to take in a few lungful’s of air.

He soon hears a distinct sniffle coming from his boyfriend’s direction and looks up to see a single tear has made its way down Callum’s face. Callum looks devastated, and the visual leaves a lump lodged in the back of his throat. It hacks away at the solid wall of ice surrounding his heart. He immediately feels awful for snapping.

Callum falters, “I-I didn’t mean to hurt her.” He manages to choke out between choppy breaths. He clutches at his chest and crumbles to the floor in front of Ben. Ben blinks back at the scene in front of him; not quite understanding the full extent of his boyfriend’s current breakdown, but also having no fucking clue what to do to make him stop crying.

Callum is on his knees with his face is buried in his hands as he cries and cries. Ben is at a loss. He knows Callum fucked up, but for him to take it this hard doesn’t seem right. Ben lowers himself to Callum’s level and places his hand gently on the back of his head to let him know he’s there. Callum takes the reassuring hand and latches onto Ben, hiding his head in the crook of his neck.

“Cal, I know you didn’t mean to hurt her, and I’m sorry for yelling- I just- I don’t understand what’s happening right now. This isn’t like you. We argue all the time and it never affects you like this, has something happened?” Callum only sobs harder against his neck, confirmation he’s not far off the mark. “Cal…babe, look at me. Please, look at me.” Ben soothes one hand down Callum’s neck and pushes his head up with the other. He wipes the excess tears off Callum’s blotchy face and slowly tilts his chin up so that he can look at him. “Babe, I’m here. Talk to me, yeah?”

Callum’s breath is still pretty rapid and shallow, but his panic attack slowly subsides as he comes back to himself. Ben lets him get a few deep breaths in before he pushes further into Callum’s space and asks him again, “what’s happened, babe? You can tell me.”

Callum opens his eyes and his bottom lip quivers as he opens and closes his mouth. No words come out. Ben runs his fingers through Callum’s now floppy hair and waits until Callum is ready.

“I’ve fucked everything up, Ben. I can’t lie anymore. Not to you.” Callum sighs in defeat.

All the blood in Ben’s face drains, his heart pumps loudly in his chest, and his breathing spikes. Ben prepares for the worst.

“Lie about what, Cal?” He asks tentatively, not entirely sure he wants to know the answer.

“I’m being blackmailed.” Callum replies, fear evident on his face.

And Ben is just _confused_. That wasn’t exactly what he thought would come out of Callum’s mouth, but he sits back on his knees and pauses, the confusion written all over him. Callum looks up when he realises he isn’t going to get a verbal response, so he continues. “The real reason you’re out of jail isn’t because I wiped the CCTV- it was already too late for that.” Ben watches Callum inhale deeply, “the real reason you’re free is because I was forced to make a decision, Ben.” Ben’s stomach drops. “You…or your dad.”

The pressure in Ben’s head feels like it’s about to explode. He shoots up from his crouching position and starts pacing around the room until he feels like he’s about to throw up and he has to steady himself on the arm of the sofa. He can’t seem to gather his thoughts properly, they’re all jumbled up in his brain; the white noise drowns out Callum’s frantic voice as the only coherent word running through his head screams loudly in his ear.

 _Betrayal._  
Ben feels something touch his arm and he jolts back on instinct, lifting his eyes to see an anxious Callum try and reach for him again.

“Don’t!” Ben yells, taking another step away from his boyfriend as he tries to make sense of what Callum just admitted. Ben stops dead, the bitter taste of betrayal still ripe on the tip of his tongue as he blinks at Callum and asks, calmer than he feels,

“How could you do this to me? He’s my dad, Callum.”

“I did this _for_ you.” Ben scoffs at the rebuttal, but Callum pushes on, “please listen to me, Ben. I did this so that you could come home. To Lexi…to me. I didn’t have any other choice. You have to believe me. My boss- he-he knows about us, saw me the day you got arrested, and he put two and two together. He knows how much I need you and that I’d do anything to keep you out of prison. And he’s using that against me by making me choose between you going down, or your dad going down. I did what I had to do to keep you safe, and I’d do it again.” Callum slowly approaches Ben and raises his hands up towards Ben’s face, who at this point hasn’t moved an inch, or let out a single breath since Callum started talking.

When Callum makes contact and Ben doesn’t pull away he carries on, “Everything I do is for you, Ben. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone ever before and I never wanted to betray you like this, but if the choice is you or Phil? There is no choice for me. It’s only ever been you.” Callum whispers the last part and lets it linger for a moment before Ben feels cold air against his cheek where Callum’s hand was just moments ago. He grabs his hand before it drops completely and without a second thought he hauls Callum into his body and smashes their lips together in a heated kiss. The high Ben feels right now surrounds him, and he starts to collapse under the weight of his emotions, but right before he snaps under the pressure Callum’s strong arms are wrapping around him to keep him steady. He feels grounded, and whole again; the once shattered pieces of his heart thread back together with each stroke of Callum’s tongue.

No one has ever put him first. No one has ever loved him as fiercely as Callum loves him. He pulls back and looks directly into his boyfriends eyes.

“No one ever chooses _me_.” Ben chokes on the last word.

“I do.” Callum replies, honest and sincere to his core, “I choose you.”

And Ben knows that no matter what comes next; he and Callum will get through it together, because he’s finally found something worth fighting for: the true meaning of the word _family._

**Author's Note:**

> Come and fangirl with me on tumblr: laurenkmyers


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